You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
