I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize