the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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