I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
