you win again, gameday.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i think i just lost a toe
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
