I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
