and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
