Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
