Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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