I hate your face
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
