i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
