i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
