If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
