every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
