I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
oh god was she eating orange peels again
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
