If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
