I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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