i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
