my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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