You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're using joints as your birthday candles
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
