Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
