ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
