I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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