I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What changed your mind?
Being sober
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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