I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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