It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
