I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
