i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
