She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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