sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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