Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
