Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
