i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
