glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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