If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
