the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
