He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
