Plan B is the new Plan A
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
