You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Sober January is a disaster.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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