Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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