If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
