I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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