i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
