if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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