It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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