So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need moral support for this bender
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
