Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You've changed since you got that strap on
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