Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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