Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
