Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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