Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
