you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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