I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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