Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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