i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
