we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
