hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Two words: blizzard sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
