i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize